ANGRY: Who’s a famous singer whose music is so bad that it genuinely makes you angry?

CHRIS GIESBRECHT suggests Harry Styles:

"Do they let him write his own songs? They need to stop him from doing that. His first single as a solo artist made me angry at the whole concept of music. It was the most insipid, vapid, uninspired, cliche-riddled garbage I’ve ever heard.

I know nothing about him or his personal life, and I have absolutely no interest in learning anything about him, but he seems like a decent enough fellow. He’s a good singer, and I thought he was an entertaining SNL host. Well, except for the musical bits he did, which weren’t any better than that first song of his I mentioned. Actually, they were better because I don’t remember them. They were extremely forgettable whereas I can still hear the first song’s crappy chorus in my head. Anyway, he was a good sport and is surprisingly good at sketch comedy.

I was never a fan of One Direction, mainly because I’m not 12 years old, female, and an idiot, but their songs were never offensive. They were catchy, memorable, and had a little more depth than your average boy band’s repertoire. Fun music, really. Harry Styles’ music, on the other hand, is offensively bad. Like, he’s actually insulting music and everyone who ever played or appreciated music. ”Fuck you, music!”, he seems to be saying. ”I can shit in peoples’ ears while yodelling the dialogue to badly translated hentai, and still sell more records than PJ Harvey! Also, I have no idea who PJ Harvey is because I was raised in a laboratory without any human contact and I don’t know what emotions are!”

If I were a soldier fighting in a war, I’d listen to Harry Styles on my way to the battle, because it would put me in the right mood to end humanity. Just send everyone and everything I see into the black void of oblivion because nothing matters anymore. Merciful God is a lie. Transhumanism is a lie. Our species is a dead end. The efforts of Leonardo da Vinci, Jonas Salk, Jesus Christ, and Gandhi were all in vain. ”Sign of the Times” is a direct repudiation of all that is good. If I were a soldier, accused of war crimes, playing that shit at The Hague Tribunal would be the sum total of my defence, and I would walk scot free. And if Harry Styles were also a soldier, and my co-defendant, he would also walk because there is nothing the Internatioanl Criminal Court could do to him that is worse than having to sing (and hear himself sing) such horrific trash every night of the living hell that is his career.

I don’t like Harry Styles’ music."

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