“How I Converted My Boyfriend To Bruce Springsteen”

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So I’ve recently found myself in the early stages of a newly formed ‘relationship’. It’s definitely not just in my head as I pinned him up against a wall in a street at 5 o’clock in the morning and demanded that he say it out loud that we were in this relationship.

There may have been a slight tone of Glenn Close in my voice and there may have been a small level of apprehension in his, but if it was I didn’t pick up on it as I was already on the Blackberry (the essential tool for the professional mentalist) and updating my current status on Facebook, whilst humming the tune to ‘our song’. From that moment on I assured him that now I have this reassurance, that calm of knowledge would result in everything being cool. I would be cool.

The 20 texts – ok 40 texts – a day would ease and all would be fine. I explained he’s just found himself turning on to Easy Street, which is one-way traffic so he’ll be finding no oncoming mental in his direction. “Honestly, darling… With that I now have all I need,” said with a shrug of the shoulders.

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