How to write the perfect album review

A few months back, the Daily Express took it upon themselves to review PJ Harvey's most recent album, Let England Shake. They must have noted that it had been hailed elsewhere as not merely a good album, a highlight of an already stellar career, but an important work that underlined the matchless power wielded by a unique artist uncoupled from musical trends, determined not to repeat herself, in an increasingly homogenous and repetitive rock and pop world. Understandably, they clearly put their best man on the job, the better to unpick Harvey's dense mesh of musical influences and literary and historical allusions for the benefit of their immigration-fearing readership. "You might not be able to pick her out of a police lineup, but there's no lack of respect for PJ Harvey," he opened. "The album moves away from her usual style, but let's just say it's not our bag. 2/5.

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